I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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