This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
