Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize