We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I want is dick and wine.
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