my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
