i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize