dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
