she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
