i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
