NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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