Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
