P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
