butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
