There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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