i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
