I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize