Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex