In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
