it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
