I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
