If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize