He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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