Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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