My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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