I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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