A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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