What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
