I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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