Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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