All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
