Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
