it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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