there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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