i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I love how my cats smell like pot.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
