I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Panties = found
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
