Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
