so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
