dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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