Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
