I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i think im in europe. pls send help
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
