Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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