Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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