i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
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as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
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Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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