when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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