she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
