I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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