check it out our google latitudes are spooning
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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