he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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