Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
