can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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