So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
