No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
