sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
His hands were made for my vagina.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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