How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing