your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just gift wrapped bread.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH